Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My bed smells like the plague
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
