At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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