Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i now understand why vodka
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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