She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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