you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
