OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
