im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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