did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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