there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
