it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
