is this the sara with the beer cane?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
