Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
