can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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