i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
