"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize