I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
