that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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