Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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