Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize