I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
