the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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