I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
