dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
