she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize