You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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