do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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