I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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