I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she pinky promised me she was 18
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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