there's paper in my vomit.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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