At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
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Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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