I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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