I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
