He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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