Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying