Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.