Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun

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(630): life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun http://tfl.nu/2zbz

Replies (29) Good night (1182) Bad night (3041)
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(847): View more from Illinois

woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.

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(847): woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score. http://tfl.nu/p406

Replies (26) Good night (9279) Bad night (825)
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(805): View more from California

my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.

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(805): my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad. http://tfl.nu/fiwi

Replies (43) Good night (1517) Bad night (14465)
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(210): View more from Texas

i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.

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(210): i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories. http://tfl.nu/3qfj

Replies (8) Good night (3693) Bad night (971)
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(619): View more from California

Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

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(619): Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich http://tfl.nu/k8p8

Replies (14) Good night (6251) Bad night (1294)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.

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(724): About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore. http://tfl.nu/twc0

Replies (46) Good night (2948) Bad night (13769)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.

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(410): I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us. http://tfl.nu/iw4a

Replies (5) Good night (3230) Bad night (910)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

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(519): He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka. http://tfl.nu/8f21

Replies (13) Good night (2577) Bad night (834)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.

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(609): Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people. http://tfl.nu/gli6

Replies (11) Good night (3331) Bad night (729)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.

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(423): I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud. http://tfl.nu/10lu

Replies (9) Good night (2823) Bad night (638)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.

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(515): I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor. http://tfl.nu/c5bv

Replies (12) Good night (1713) Bad night (453)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns

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(704): I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns http://tfl.nu/dxob

Replies (3) Good night (1301) Bad night (527)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.

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(613): Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control. http://tfl.nu/w1lp

Replies (4) Good night (1941) Bad night (417)
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(716): View more from New York

If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.

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(716): If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship. http://tfl.nu/4ap0

Replies (5) Good night (909) Bad night (331)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place

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(+44): Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place http://tfl.nu/6f1z

Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (296)

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