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• (773): View more from Illinois

  he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.

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• (818): View more from California

  You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.

  (1-818): View more from California

  Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny

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