dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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