My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize