you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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