I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
no, he came in my armpit
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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