question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
