I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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