Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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