someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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