I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize