when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
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Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This is my gift to your gina
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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