you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize