Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
