Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
