sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
