some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
