I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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