is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
