Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
