saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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