I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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