walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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