I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
