Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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