He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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